In my previous post, I mentioned that there was some trouble in the friend area of my life.  I feel the need to write this out because what shouldn’t have been a big deal, turned into a huge deal.

I have a circle of friends of whom I adore.  Being the person I am, i like expanding the circle to include new friends and new experiences.  In walks Giselle, she is hip, cool, artistic and has depth of character beyond words.  She is a photographer just starting out in the business and I am going to school for web development.  I am excited about her work and offered to do a website for her.  We started collaborating on that and became closer as friends.  She really is awesome!

One friend in my circle was getting married at the end of August.  I adore her and felt that because she doesn’t have any family near by and her husband was being a bridezilla, that I wanted to give her the best present ever…

I told this to Giselle and though she didn’t know Rachel very well, decided to help me plan something spectacular in which all of the friends in the circle could help with!

Well, I spoke with the other gals in the circle and they agreed that it was an awesome idea!  The idea was to get Rachel and her new hubby a hotel room for the night and decorate it to the nines, complete with a snack tray, chocolate covered strawberries, champagne… the works!

Anyway, since Rachel is relatively new and was so gungho about the idea, some of the people in the circle were offended.  After all, THEY were the best friends… not this suzy-come-lately.

So the hotel thing worked out perfectly even though the others in the circle went their own way.  Giselle and I forked over the bulk of the money… but whatever.  It was totally worth it for me knowing that Rachel would be surprised and happy!

The next day (after the wedding… Rachel and her man went to the Justice of the Peace), Giselle and I planned the makeover for Rachel, a brunch in the park (with bagels and yummy mimosas) and some pictures.  I brought the party van and piled everyone in.  This was also told to other members of the circle who thought it was a fabu idea.

Things did not go according to plan and one friend in particular decided to step up and make decisions without telling Giselle or I.  Then, this person decided it would be a good idea to whisper and talk about Giselle with a few others, pretty much right in front of her, albeit behind her back.

It was a power play plain and simple.  I am a little angry at myself because I feel that I SHOULD HAVE stood up for Giselle.  Instead, to avoid conflict I tried to do whatever everyone else wanted to do.

Giselle put herself out there and got shot down because of pettiness, control and jealousy.

So that’s the story…. it really isn’t about what I said necessarily… but more or less what I didn’t say and what I should have said.

Today I found out that because we sent our tax stuff via Turbo Tax and paid our Turbo Tax fee by utilizing some of our tax money, our stimulus check will come by snail mail.  This means that we will not get it until July some time.

As soon as I heard this I broke down in uncontrollable tears.  Why?  Well, the tax stimulus money was the last bit of money we needed before looking for a minivan.  I figured as soon as May rolled around we’d have it made in the shade.  I thought that finally, the kids and I could get out of the house instead of being trapped behind these walls.  Walls that are definitely closing in day by day.

After five minutes of boo-hooing, I got ahold of myself.  After all, I chose the life of a stay at home mom.  I was the one who wanted to be home with my children so that I could not only focus on them but also on school (I am in college full time as well… in case I forgot to mention).  This kind of thing means sacrificing any luxuries or last-minute purchases.  Not that the minivan would have been a last minute purchase, we have been saving for awhile now.

Still, what’s the difference in a couple of months?  I figure I need to focus on turning the backyard into happy fun land for the kids.  On Saturday we are going to go garage sale-ing.  I am hoping to find some fun outdoor toys!  *fingers crossed*

In any case, I figured five minutes of boo-hooing is better than five minutes of rage or worse…. a whole night of boo-hooing.