Finding the motivation to lose weight is easy.  Inspiration is in abundance when it comes to getting healthy, especially on the internet.  Whole online communities are created so that people like me can have a strong support group and make new friends.

The problem is… i’m having trouble getting started.  I am addicted to fast food and carbs.  I have been very conscious lately of what I have been putting in my mouth.  That is, I am aware of what I eat and no matter how bad it might be for me, I continue to eat it.

Part of my bad habits when it comes to food is the emotional response to the baby crying or the kids crying and/or misbehaving.  I am attuned to eating because simply because of emotion.  In fact, more than half the time I eat because of emotion and not of hunger.  I don’t give my body a chance to get to the hunger part.

I want to exercise but am on restriction due to the c-section.  I have another month to go before I can get into a routine.  So, it is almost as though I am subconsciously telling myself to eat, drink and be merry because I really can’t start this journey until I am off exercise restriction.

Realizing this is somewhat disheartening because I feel like I am oh-so-close to success, yet so indescribably far away emotionally.  I think the next step to take is to be held accountable for my weight loss.  So far, I have only admitted to my husband that I want to get healthy and begin living again.  Still… husb has a hard time supporting me with the weight loss decision because he fights the same demons.  In that way, we are not good for eachother because we keep advocating the sickness.

In all of this of one thing I am certain:

Talk is cheap.  Time to put my money where my mouth is.